Bit Odd

Words

2012-01-29T15:46:00.000-08:00

Warning: This is a terribly personal post

Imagine you swept dried leaves into a little mound, taking care to label each leaf with whatever your creative mind could conjure up. Then, a gust of wind blows and your leaves are scattered everywhere, possibly blown to many places, some places you've never seen before even. Then you were told to pick up each leaf you had labelled and put it back into that little mound.

Not possible.

That's one of the few harsh lessons I learnt as a child. I read a book where this little girl was crying to her mother. She said,"Mom, I said something awful and I want to take it back. What do I do?" Her mother told her to collect some leaves, let the wind take them away then search for every single leaf again. She told her mother she couldn't and her mother just said,"That's what happens with words. Once you have said it, you can never take it back again."

Despite learning this terrible reality since I was a child, I observed that many people have failed to come to terms with this. I struggled for many years of my life taking care of what I should be saying and this then made me extra sensitive to what others were saying. This was useful in some sense where I was always "politically correct" and gained insight on others by analysing the things they say. Unfortunately this made me extra emotional as well on the particular words people used and said.

Humans are selfish and will remain so for very very long. The words they use will never be particularly sweet but they are always particularly bitter. We never think of the "appropriate" word to praise someone as any praise will make anyone happy. However, we take careful consideration into hurting others. We need to find the right description, timing, comeback such that it would wound them the most in their most vulnerable period so that they can be the victor of such an event.

Maybe this may not be true for many occasions and I may be generalising falsely but if you had to think about the time when you were the "nicest" to the "not nicest" - I bet the "not nice" part of you would've taken over and you would remember it even because it was the most ego-boosting period of your life.

I wonder when will language stop being such a barrier to communicate. Perhaps in the future we will create a language that does not emphasize on words but rather actions which would be a much better way of understanding each other.

The Grey Area

2012-01-05T16:09:00.000-08:00

"Ignorance is Bliss"

Or is it?

It might just be me, but I feel like I'm always getting caught in the "grey" region. Nothing ever seems black or white anymore and I wonder if more and more of my perception becomes increasingly so when I continue ageing and hopefully, learning.

As enthusiasm turns to work and work becomes knowledge, its becoming increasingly scary how I forecast my future to be no more optimistic than a fish in a bowl. I am free to exist and to think but I may not necessarily live.

Many a times it has dawned upon me that this world is a cruel and horrid place. There are one too many crazy people out there, waiting to prey on the weak and to indulge in their own pleasures on the expense of others. On the other hand, there are also ridiculously cheerful and optimistic people that carry the weight of feathers - perhaps nothing on their shoulders and live happily.

Slowly as I (hopefully) learn more, read more and try to understand more, I think I'm leaning towards the former. As I try to understand the world and its interactions in this tiny brain of mine, I find a glimpse of hope of answers - mostly if I think negatively. Evidence also leans that the more you delve into knowledge that is pure, for example, maths, you find yourself becoming to involved with it that you - after a while - may seem a little odd to others. But who are we to judge when we only live in society's eyes? Perhaps it is them who seem odd instead of you, perhaps they do not understand the way of life that could possibly be a 1000 times better than theirs?

Perhaps?

Yet some seek solace in simple life. "Those who enjoy their simple routine in life are the most happy". Those with a simple job, a simple family, and have everything they need. Maybe if you lived in the mountains in a hut away from civilisation you are happy. But this is abstract! How are we to compare what is happy and what is not? Furthermore, the ongoing pressure from the media and with globalisation just throwing news at you about how lucky you are, how unlucky you are, how you should be and how you should behave and look and... pretty much govern your whole life...is just wasting away what is left of your opinion.

Then we look at opinion and we know that this is only cultivated from your background, experiences and again the media - so who are you to judge for yourself? Is anything we do worth anything to others or to ourselves?

Is believing that being nice to everyone will create a happy atmosphere when it is (maybe) in human's biological behaviour to take advantage of it? Maybe we're all better off just building walls and protecting ourselves...maybe not.

The grey area is where we will mostly lie in and trying to prioritise what to do in life in order to make you happy is ridiculously difficult. With this, for civilisation to even exist at all seems quite pointless.

It's odd.

The Revenge Paradox

2011-08-23T17:34:00.000-07:00

Being in a superficial world, we are constantly bombarded with external influences and react in many different ways. However, humans are such that they converge to a similar behaviour. One of which I find most disturbing is revenge.

Revenge is an odd behaviour, one that is borne out of the desire to get even with another that has initially harmed you. It is the desire to get "equal". However, being equal is difficult as the gauge of fairness is very selfish and we do not feel the amount of hurt implicated onto another individual. To be truly "equal", there is a need to have revenge such that the initial harm inflicted on you is equal to the harm you inflict on them, which is impossible.

Then this brings us to the revenge paradox. A person who seeks revenge will inflict hurt onto the individual who had hurt him initially, which will (if the person behaves similarly) cause that individual to seek revenge on that person, and a cyclical effect emerges. This is because individuals are loss averse (if I am able to quote this correctly) and that the damage inflicted on them is not felt similarly by the "damager" so we will always feel unjust when we are hurt.

A study by Carlsmith showed that despite conventional wisdom, people—at least those with Westernized notions of revenge—are bad at predicting their emotional states following revenge. The reason revenge may stoke anger's flames may lie in our ruminations, he says. When we don't get revenge, we're able to trivialize the event, he says. We tell ourselves that because we didn't act on our vengeful feelings, it wasn't a big deal, so it's easier to forget it and move on. But when we do get revenge, we can no longer trivialize the situation. Instead, we think about it. A lot.

"Rather than providing closure, it does the opposite: It keeps the wound open and fresh," he says.

Furthermore, we do not gain happiness out of revenge. Perhaps some form of satisfaction, but definitely not happiness. If revenge doesn't make us feel any better, why do we seek it? Carlsmith describes one evolutionary hypothesis, suggested by German psychologists Ernst Fehr, PhD, and Simon G¨echter, PhD.

"Punishing others in this context—what they call 'altruistic punishment'—is a way to keep societies working smoothly," Carlsmith says. "You're willing to sacrifice your well-being in order to punish someone who misbehaved."

And to get people to punish altruistically, they have to be fooled into it. Hence, evolution might have wired our minds to think that revenge will make us feel good.

This brings a curious thought to me, is it such that we are biologically structured to take revenge? Why is it that humans play on negative experiences so much more than positive ones? I suppose it is due to survival instincts where focusing on negative implications will allow you to avoid them in the future and revenge is power play where the fittest survives. Revenge can also be used to "teach a lesson" and hence put you on top of the food chain. But of course, this is a separate discussion altogther.

Curious.

Sourced from:

Revenge and the People who Seek it

Questioning Pop Music

2011-08-17T18:34:00.000-07:00

Music is a universal tool of expression, and many of us have our personal preferences on different types of music. However, with the music industry slowly becoming more and more converged into "typical" types of sounds, how do we decipher what we really like, from what is liked by everyone (pop music/culture)? Let us first define "like" as in an enjoyable feeling when we listen to the music.

But how do we know what makes us *really* like music?

This question relates heavily to the current pop music. Many people like it (hence pop for popular) because it has a very catchy tune and easy lyrics that can be sung to which you can enjoy doing with many people. However, is pop music necessarily the kind of music you actually like? We may just "like" it because everyone else does, and its cool to know the lyrics to the everyday songs sung by the most popular, famous singers. We focus a lot more on the tune that on the lyrics (smack that, all on the floor - hmmm.) These days, music is heavily associated to the music videos and hence the artist. We find a strong correlation to popularity of the music to the popularity of good-looking artists, or how catchy the video looks. The "catchy-ness" of the music is key. Do you notice that there are some songs you absolutely hate but still stick in your head? If you're someone who is neutral to that song, you might grow to like it.

On the other hand, we enjoy it because everyone else seems to exhibit similar behaviour with that music. When other people seem to enjoy pop music, you tend to as well. Then when you listen to it on your own, you probably associate this enjoyment when you enjoyed it with your friends.

Of course we cannot just generalize all pop music this way. The descriptions above is particularly for music that does not have any meaningful lyrics. Now let's look at lyric influence.

Ballads are largely popular because of their lyrics. As most ballads sound very mellow, we find that the lyrics are increasingly important. Most listeners that relate to the song will enjoy the song even more, hence making it popular. Sometimes we also enjoy songs with lyrics talking about their lives - despite never experiencing it before. It's almost like a story that we enjoy listening to with a little tune.

This can also be true for songs with large sex appeal, such as major clubbing songs. These songs are popular because of the lyrics that enhance self-confidence (if you notice, most of these songs just have a single type drop beat). Another example is R&B, which I'm a fan of because because it's easy to dance to whether or not it has lyrics but has become so generic that it has become quite boring! Or do we all acknowledge this phenomenon and just go along with it?

I'd love to talk about voice, as melody and voice control in moving a song is very important. But with most songs auto-tuned, I think I've lost the motivation to talk about it. Obviously I'm not talking about all singers, there are plenty of exceptions!

We find the music industry generating songs that are extremely similar to the already popular ones - hence a never-ending cycle of (here I can generalize) pop songs and remixes. Songs are produced and fed to the artist, who sing it, regardless if they have a good voice or not. Ah, the benefits of auto-tune. This differs from the 60s, when popular music consisted of constantly different tunes generated by different competing artists (beegees, the beatles, phil collins, whitney houston etc) who just choose to express their ideas and feelings.

I'm not picking a fight with people who like pop music, I myself enjoy some popular songs. I also acknowledge there are exceptions to all the "reasons" I have stated above, there are many artists that are talented and popular. However, its curious whether individuals enjoy "pop" music the same way when they are isolated from a group. Or perhaps this defeats the purpose since that is the definition of pop music.

Then this leads back to the original question; how do we know what really makes us like a certain type of music?

I find it a bit sad that many people do not expand their horizon on music and stay listening to pop music. They dare not venture into music that is not publicized and heavily marketed to the public. This undermines the young bands and singers who are trying to express themselves through their music and voice, but are unable to due to the fixation on pop. If we realize that music is more than just a simple tune and lyrics, I think we will be able to enjoy and accept a wider range of music culture. Why not jazz, reggae, drum and bass, metal, blues, indie - who knows? How much of the other types of music have we listened to in order to pass judgement? Of course saying this, people who dislike "mainstream" music should also accept that within the pop music industry, there are some roses amongst the thorns that are pretty cool!

Debt Discontent

2011-08-10T23:30:00.000-07:00

As we watch the US falter in its steps, Malaysians falsely believe that we will never repeat such a mistake in our country. At least, I thought so.

Unfortunately this is no longer the case. Household debt in Malaysia is increasing at a pretty fast rate. According to Bank Negara, household debt to GDP has been increasing from 47% in 2000 to 76% in 2010. Household loans are now much higher compared to corporate loans (56% compared to 44%) since corporations have been more careful with their loans since the Asian Financial Crisis.

It must seem like a good sign at first, with increased consumption indicating a growth in consumer wealth and an increase in GDP. Many wealthy consumers invest most of their money in property (as I believe it is a very Asian culture to put money in housing - it is longed believed- and rightly true- that it is the best asset for wealth, and also to be passed down to their children through generations as a form of wealth). Bank Negara has also taken necessary steps to raise requirements before lending to households, trying to prevent speculation by introducing LTV etc.

However, Malaysia's household debt to personal disposable income ratio is at a whopping 140%, higher than the US with 123%. We falsely believe that we have a heavy savings culture but the statistics show that savings now is only about 30% of GNI, inclusive of compulsory savings such as EPF. Furthermore, MARC reports that 50% of credit card holders also only earn about RM36,000 a year or less. This implies that much of the financial assets are only held by minority, posing a problem.

There is also information that household debt and personal consumption have been growing at about 7%, much higher than GDP annually at 5.4%. This means that consumption is fuelled more by debt than GDP growth, which could very well mean it is unsustainable. Malaysia needs an increase in productivity, wages and household incomes in order to sustain the debt.

If this continues, this will tie the hands of Bank Negara in managing its monetary policy. A property bubble could very well occur, especially with the rise in household loans and house prices. If, as mentioned earlier, that household debt will keep outpacing growth of income, insolvency may occur.

Bank Negara needs to raise interest rates and warn the public of household debt control. Limitations should be imposed such that households need to pay back their debt in a shorter period of time to stem risk of default. Of course, we are very early in this course of time but should we wait to make a move only at the final moment? Much of the news have said that "we are doing fine" but I think the public needs to know more than that. We need to know what are the possible implications if this continues and the risks involved, without of course, making it sound alarming. Information needs to be spread on the current situation and what needs to be done now. Awareness among consumers and bankers are a vital solution to this issue.

We cannot afford to be careless in our policymaking, especially with the current global economic climate. It only took the US one verdict to bring the rest down with them, along with us. I believe that prudency in the wake of the global economic mess should be the way forward.

Blind Anger

2011-08-09T01:03:00.000-07:00

The shooting of Mark Duggan who was unarmed sparked public anger in the area, leading to the now internationally famous London Riot 2011. I believe the initial riot fueled by anger is not unreasonable, however this has spun out of control, havoc and looting springing up like daisies - in Tottenham, Wood Green, Enfield and Ponders End, Brixton, Birmingham, Liverpool and many more.

The issue here is that the cause and purpose of this demonstration has been lost. It is riots like these that give a huge reason for Asian countries to further suppress the public's "freedom of speech". England has the luxury of - if I dare say - a gentle police force, especially opposed to Asian countries where the police will hurt you without question. England already has the opportunity to voice their opinion, to demonstrate peacefully and now it has come to ruins from this riot.

There are arguments on the reason of why the riots are occurring. Most people say its unemployment and while I am hugely upset with the rioters, I think I have come to terms in accepting the "possible reasons".

The biggest theory by far is unemployment. With the huge budget cuts, many of the poor are hurt as they have a tougher time finding jobs and with a limited amount of benefits. However, I think England is in a much better condition compared to her American and European counterparts precisely because of the painful but necessary cuts. I would like to know if these people are actively looking for jobs (most being teenagers) to begin with. They have it easy, unlike the poor in places like Jakarta, they're not homeless, not starving - just...bored and unhappy.

Rather than just unemployment, I think it is more of the inequality which is something I can accept. The poor in London live next to the very rich, making the income gap huge. Especially with the media and lifestyle of the rich publicised constantly, it is no wonder that the poor has begun to hate the rich. English people are always obsessed with "class" where I suppose, the "upper class" always wins. This sort of disparity has a very high correlation to unhappiness, leading to much hatred and anger for "the people that are better off". The only way they can express themselves, or rather, know how to express themselves would be through public violence and anger - which is understandable.

And finally, this could all boil down to parenting and education. When I mean education, I mean understanding human behaviour, learning how to think logically and analyse situations objectively and being able to express yourself in discipline. Without education, people are very aware of themselves and less of others. They do not realise the implications of their actions on lots of people and believe to be "the victim" in this "real and ugly world". Then we point to parenting, or family culture where children should be encouraged to continue learning and leading them down the right path.

Unfortunately it is too late and in the end, the middle to low-income groups suffer as they burn down property that benefits these groups of people the most. The average person loses their jobs and the average person gets injured in all these riots. No matter which way we think or look at it, the middle-income people always suffer, which is the most unfair. Killing innocent people, beating up random people - this has no longer become a battle between the rich and the poor. This has just become a civil war.

Those who are physically involved with the London Riots 2011 with no motive, no purpose whatsoever are selfish and losing their heads. Fuelled by anger and adrenaline, they invade into personal lives. Public properties are damaged from the youths throwing bricks at their houses, cars are burnt, some people are trapped in their own homes, surrounded by fire. Have they anything to do with the cause of these riots? No. Have the shopkeepers who have now lost the shops and hence their jobs have anything to do with the riots? No. Yet these innocent bystanders are constantly being dragged into this mess. Are other policemen who are injured the reason for this riot? No. The people who were sacrificed- have anything to do with the riots? No.

There is a need to understand that to exercise freedom of speech, there has to be discipline, or disciplinary action will be taken to abolish your freedom.

"Discipline without freedom is tyranny. Freedom without discipline is chaos."
- Cullen Hightower

A wish

2011-08-04T02:08:00.000-07:00

If you could travel back in time, which era would you pick? I remember the question vividly from a very unique person I met in university. “I’d go back to the 60’s,” he said, ”So I can meet Jimi Hendrix, Led Zep – it was literally an era of rock and roll, then followed by the hippie revolution.” And I thought that it sounded really great. To be in an era of music and Cultural Revolution, it must be so enriching, exciting and fulfilling!

Blinking back to reality, it’s nothing like that is it? We’re all efficient, full of technology and raring to use all the time we have to make money, keeping up with fashion and constantly connected. Instant gratification is what we want! A webpage that loads in a minute is considered faulty – what more can we want? We take so much, we want more and more things that maybe we forgot to ponder about whether we really are happy.

I hope to break out of the working life circle. Get up at 7am, go to your 9-5pm job or worse, your 24 hour job, come back, get lots of money, buy lots of things, pretend you’re happy (maybe somewhere in the process also make others unhappy unnecessarily) and die. Does success really have to be that?

I wish for a world that sees happiness as a balanced life, with some bumps in between. I want to travel, experience different cultures and experience so many things with music, dance, arts, debates and reading. Of course all provided I have my sufficient needs. With a career that is fulfilling that contributes to society. I want to engage in a social environment with like-minded people who are not afraid to share their thoughts and wisdom.

But alas I am young and optimistic. I wish so hard for this to happen!! When I look around me with every single person I meet moulding into the next as they seem so similar, thinking about the same thing, that success is associated with money, with all their cultural and society-type taboos – dims my motivation ever so slightly. I wish for the world to embrace happiness by doing the things they want to do without fear of falling down and getting hurt. No fear of change, just ready to face anything that is exciting and fun. And yet, we are so far from it, if anything, we are digressing.

I really wonder what it takes to change society's perception. How do we come about a sense of acceptance that life isn't just about money - most of us have passed the phase about worrying about what to eat, how come we don't pursue our interests?

I’m going to try and stick to this dream as far as I can go, hopefully, it will come true!

Clarity yet Not?

2011-08-04T00:26:00.000-07:00

As a simple intern, I find myself exploring the space of this so-called real world. I have to do everything on trial and error, stretching out to feel the limits and now I find myself stuck in this tiny little box and my mind just sitting on top of it, borderless.

I find my reaches are very limited with my mind wanting to do so much more. In my head I secretly answer the questions that are thrown to the seniors. Usually the answer is very simple. One main reason to lots of things in terms of creating a more accessible township (the usual question) is a better public transportation system. Yet being Malaysians, we must fail the public with our "Malaysian timing" and have only come to terms with it today. This answer is so clear to the public yet nothing is done. Even now we have only made plans, many have given up as to when it will be implemented. How about the exception of those hardworking ones who are willing to make a change?Brilliant people who come up with good plans and are raring to go only find themselves wrapped up by red tape and suddenly time becomes the enemy.

Implementation is a huge issue for Malaysia. We're full of planners, ready on the go to give our opinions then pretend that the effort is too tremendous to carry it out physically. Hierarchy is held so important that we have to list every single "important" person's history accurately despite never seeing them. Like a star on a christmas tree, it seems to the only focus of the tree but we forget that without the tree the star does not seem so special anymore. Bureaucracy is extremely tedious and confusing, with us having to bow to every senior in order to get ideas approved.

With ideas being so hard to be implemented, how come nothing has changed? Malaysia has barely changed. We don't like change. Why have we given up so easily? Or have we just found change elsewhere?